Brain don’t fail me now

The last ten miles of the Estrogen Ride turned out to be a challenge for me. It was a simple matter of coming into Des Moines on Highway 163, which becomes University Avenue at the city limits and which takes me straight home. But I think my brain finally began to shut down a little from the weekend’s excitement. While cruising past the State Fairgrounds and down East University, I became impatient and couldn’t decide which lane to be in. I kept moving back and forth. And once, while planning to signal a move into the right-hand lane, I actually hit the kill switch instead of the turn signal, shutting off my bike for a few seconds til I figured out what I’d done. I flipped the switch back on while still coasting – the bike back-fired and re-started, but I felt pretty damn stupid. It was at that point I told myself I’d better just calm down, and think, if I wanted to make it home. I found I had a hard time collecting my thoughts into cohesive stories the rest of the evening.

Our Memorial Day visit to the Iowa Wall

Here’s two things that happened over Memorial Day weekend that I feel bad about. For the past three years, we’ve made a point to go on a large-group ride to our state capitol’s memorial grounds, for a service at the Viet Nam memorial that’s hosted by a local ABATE member. It’s not an official event – just his own personal ride each year – but it has grown quite large. It’s usually held on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. Well this year, I didn’t receive any notifications about it like I usually do so on Saturday I went online to check the start time – and discovered it had been held a full week earlier. We missed it!Determined not to miss our own annual “moment of reflection” at the Iowa Wall, we rode up to the capitol on Sunday anyway (what a perfect, beautiful day!) to leave some flowers. As we approached on our (noisy) bikes, we discovered a large crowd gathered around the Viet Nam memorial where we focus our efforts – there was a service in progress! Embarrassed, we coasted as quietly as possible into the parking lot… we cut our engines off as soon as we were positioned to back into a parking spot, and then discovered that they were in the middle of playing “Taps.” Which, ideally, I’m sure they would have liked to have been played with a noiseless background. We felt awful about interrupting the ceremony, having had no idea that it would be taking place.

And, one thing I feel GREAT about: We approached the dispersing group looking as apologetic as possible just as it was breaking up to leave. My husband took the small bunch of silk flowers I’d fashioned and left them at the foot of the wall and then stepped back to study the names. This is, for him, a traditional visit that gives him the opportunity to remember why he carries on despite depression, diabetes, weight problems, divorces, etc. etc – because other guys didn’t get the chance to carry on. As we were standing there, a woman who was there quietly asked him if he knew how many Iowans had died in Viet Nam. We did a quick estimate of the number of names on the wall and guessed it to be about eight hundred. As she turned to walk away she said to him, “Thank you, sir, for your service. I appreciate it.” He was barely able to sqawk a “thank you” in return – he carries enough survivor guilt and all the baggage of a less-than-welcoming return, and to actually have someone thank him for years of service he’d been conditioned not to talk about was almost too much. Having lived with him for almost 18 years now, I know a little something about how much her words might have meant to him, and I believe it was good for him to hear it.

Then a little while later, back at the bikes and getting ready to leave, another woman was visiting with another couple on a bike – the man was wearing his Viet Nam veteran cap, and the other woman was relating a story about her brother who had been killed in combat during that time. Steve and I listened and joined in, Steve and this other man swapped a couple reminiscences. And again, as this woman turned to leave, she said, “Thank you both for your service. It was important and it means a lot.” And again my poor hubby was just ready to cry. This has never happened, I realize. No one has ever said “thank you” or “welcome home” to him.

I’m proud of him in so many ways – for coming out of that horrible time with his head screwed on fairly straight, for having a heart when it would be easy to become bitter, for continuing to be a courageous man who treasures esprit de corps and means it when he tells another marine, “Semper Fidelis.” I think this Memorial Day was really for him, more than any other we’ve shared in our 18 years together.

Welcome home, honey, I’m glad you’re here.

Chap my hide! A brief history of biker chaps

In the “Just In Case You’re Curious” department, here’s a brief bit about a popular bit of biker leather – chaps! We can all guess that biker chaps have evolved from what the cowboys out on the range historically wore (and still wear), and we’d be right. But, the style bikers like – the kind that zip up the side and cover the entire leg – are only part of the historical picture.Wikipedia says, “The word is recorded in English since 1844, as an abbreviation of chaparajos, from Mexican or Spanish chaparreras. Words with similar background include chaparro or chaparral, the evergreen scrub vegetation that can tear at a rider’s legs and gave rise to the need for chaps.” Styles of chaps include:

• Batwing, which are cut wide with a flare at the bottom and have only with two or three fasteners around the thigh. This gives plenty of room for movement for the lower leg.
• Shotgun, are the type bikers wear. They fit snugly and completely around each leg, and the two legs are joined by a built-in belt at the waist. So-named because the legs resemble the double-barrel of a shotgun.
• Chinks are a half-length chap that usually come to just below the knee, with a couple of fasteners up around the thigh.
• Half chaps protect the lower portion of the leg only and are usually worn by English-style riders in place of tall boots.

Of particular interest to bikers, this little bit about shotgun-style chaps appeared recently on a Harley owners’ newsgroup.

The early Texans (mexicans and Anglos) of 1830-40’s designed the first full length leather britches, that completely encircled the legs and by the early 1870’s were called SHOTGUNS, because these seatless pants resembled a double barrel shotgun. The plain variety which were not adorned with fringe or conchos were called CLOSED LEGS. For big legged cowboys they fit snuggly around the legs and for some were difficult to remove with your boots and spurs on. The waistband is the defining characteristic of the period it came from. The early pairs had a belt that went all the way around the waist and buckled in the back. Most of these chaps were made of lightweight leather, doe, kid, calf, even shaved seal was offered in this style. By the 1880’s some chap makers were making two pieced chaps that were lased up the front, with a square waistband, up until the turn of the century when the curved or contoured waistband was introduced. Although these were the most popular style until the turn of the century, there were still many working cowboys that preferred this style. The 1900’s also added another feature, zippers. Most modern shotguns include zippers for a tighter tailored fit and are popular with cowboys and motorcycle enthusiasts.

Just thought you’d like to know!

“Lose the Watches…”

I am a shopper. In fact, shopping for bike accessories is one of my favorite past-times. There is, however, a disturbing trend I’ve noticed recently.

Timepieces for motorcycles.

I first encountered this a couple years ago while shopping online. One of the neatest “new products” was a clockface that could easily be mounted to my handlebars. It was simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive. And my first reaction was, “How clever! How useful! I must have one!” I had my finger on the “submit order” button when the tiniest speck of doubt crept in. It wasn’t a fully formed opinion, it was just a nagging feeling. But it was enough to make me abandon my virtual shopping cart.

A few months later, I was in my local Harley Davidson showroom. The first of the ’07’s were finally on the sales floor, in all their 96-cubic inch glory. My favorite sales rep, who was always so friendly even though he’d been trained to know I wasn’t in buying mode just yet, immediately pulled me over to the new Sportster 1200, flipped on the ignition, and announced, “You’re going to love this – look: a built-in clock, built into the speedo!”

I took a reactive, involuntary step away from the bike. Uttered some non-committal things simply as a way to extricate myself. And went to hide among the HD pet-wear so I could ponder in relative peace: why is everyone pushing timepieces for motorcycles? And why do I instinctively, almost primordally, resist??

The answer’s really kind of a no-brainer. Like that handlebar clock, it’s beautiful in its simplicity. I don’t want to know what time it is when I’m on the bike. Keeping time is synonymous with schedules. Pressure. Real life. And I use the bike to escape all of that.

One of the best moments in “Wild Hogs” occurs at the end when Peter Fonda, in his cameo role as the wise old biker dude, advises our heroes to ditch their wrist watches. So I’m confident I’m in very good company on this one. And I’m still searching for that next simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive chromey bit to put on my bike. Something that doesn’t remind me of the world I’m trying to leave behind.

Wild Hogs on the Loose

If you’ve ever been accused of being a RUB (“rich urban biker”), you’ll love the new Touchstone comedy “Wild Hogs.” The movie stars John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy as middle-aged friends who decide to kick their weekend riding up a notch and take a cross-country road trip on their Harleys. The trip is frought with comedic peril as the guys encounter swarms of locusts, gay cops, infrequent gas stops, and a burly gang of “real bikers” led by Ray Liotta. Their various motivations for taking the trip all collide in a final showdown with the biker gang, and in the end it takes Peter Fonda to set it all straight. The epilogue that rolls during the closing credits gives us a peek at how the guys are able to have the last word with the bad-ass bikers. A few of the gags in the movie seemed to occur without much setup, so at times it felt a little dis-jointed… but, I had a great time with the guys’ journey and their various mishaps. I’m not too familiar with Macy, but he gave a lot of depth to the nerdy computer programmer Dudley, who tried real hard to be a bad-ass by getting a “tat” and who needed a little more practice on his Sportster. Tim Allen was absolutely loveable as Doug the Dentist, tiring of his cholesterol-conscious diet and facing the notion of growing older. Martin Lawrence – for once out of a gender-altering “Big Mama”-style costume – was delightful if hen-pecked; and Travolta’s growing sense of panic as Liotta’s gang pursues them was hilarious. Early cameos by the Teutels and supporting appearances by Marisa Tomeii and Jill Hennessey were amusing and charming. We had a great time with this movie – sure it was a little predictable, but much of it was laugh-out-loud funny and there were moments that were purely unexpected that made it a blast. Enjoy!

Eat real on the road!

I’m still thinking about Alton Brown. I blogged recently about becoming interested in cooking (at age 44? After 15 years of marriage and family? What can I say, late bloomer!), and mentioned that Alton Brown is one of the program hosts over on Food Network, and that he rides a BMW. He strikes me as the type of person I’d have something to talk about over the super-unleaded nozzles at that tiny gas station outside Rose Creek, MN… bikes, old highways, vanishing Americana… and road food.

He’s got a couple of shows on Food Network… “Good Eats” is terrific, a sort “Beakman’s World” with food. (Brilliant “Jaws” parody aired this week where Alton’s Richard Dreyfus character was recruited by the besieged townfolk to kill a giant scallop that allegedly ate somebody’s toe, and he ended up cooking scallops for guests on the Robert Shaw character’s boat… cripes, hilarious!)

But I digress. It’s his limited-run series “Feasting on Asphalt”… where he travels across the US on his BMW with a few pals looking for authentic local food – and, I’m guessing, an authentic on-the-road experience – that I’m concerned with here. The series was shot and aired in 2006 and was recently re-run. His travels remind me of the street rod trips we took in the early 90’s where we’d purposely go in search of local diners. Back in those days, I was self-publishing a street-rodding newsletter called “Family Rodder” where I wrote a lot about the cool stuff that made two-lane travel so satisfying, and occasionally lamenting how our mode of exploring America had evolved.

On the bikes, we’ve discovered more than a few gems: a mom-and-pop place going into Belle Fourche, SD, next door to the paleo-themed motel where we stayed on last year’s Sturgis trip… the Old Home Fill ‘Er Up and Keep on Truckin’ Cafe, still operating in Pisgah, Iowa despite the absence of C.W. McCall and Mavis; a place in Beresford, SD that delivered awesome ham steak and ribeye meals to our motel room because we were too tired to stumble across the road…

My lament – and the point of “Feasting on Asphalt” – has been that most of us just don’t travel the way Americans used to… we built the Interstate system and it got the trucks off the 2-lanes, but it also encouraged everyone else to hurry, too… to blow past those towns… now you have to make an effort and take the “business route” if you want something local. And because of that, we’ve “progressed” ourselves right out of an opportunity to explore, to learn something.

Here’s some hard truth: Eating local is a lot harder than sliding to a stop at McDonald’s right off the interstate. But, I believe it’s absolutely imperative if you want the full road experience. It’s certainly the only way you’re going to experience culinary variety, or get a sense of what regional food is, when you travel. Eating local also supports local communities – economically as well as culturally. It assures that small towns get to keep some of what makes them unique, and that the profit they earn from your meal doesn’t go to some corporate home-office out of state. Finally, there’s the concept of “shared adventure” in discovering an unfamiliar local place… the best dinners with friends on the road are had when you step into a hole in the wall and have something to talk about because you took a chance, for better or for worse. Of course, you’ll occasionally get a clinker of a meal this way. But it shouldn’t always be about getting good food – it should sometimes be about getting authentic food.

When Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – / I took the one less traveled by / And that has made all the difference” – well, he could have been addressing the pre-ride meeting of the local HOG club. Or Alton Brown, perched on that BMW in his driveway, anticipating the journey ahead. “Feasting on Asphalt” is proof that Alton, at least, was listening. Are you?

Is It Spring Yet?

Wow, it feels like just a week or so ago that we were counting down to Christmas, and now January’s two-thirds gone! I’m thrilled to see you all keep coming back… and I’m sorry I haven’t done a good job of keeping things fresh around here. My last couple of months have been very home-focused… I did a lot of hand-painted Christmas gifts this year, so I spent most of November and December working on those. With the new year came a resolution to start eating dinner at home more often (we’d been eating out in restaurants nearly every night for over a year – you can imagine what that did to our finances) so in January I got somewhat addicted to the Food Channel and the Food Network website (does anyone else wish Rachael Ray was their sister?)… anyway, we seem to have hit a new rhythm now with better food so I’m not spending quite as much time digging through recipes as I was a couple weeks ago.And wouldn’t you know it… at just the moment where I was ready to start thinking BIKES again… along comes my next-door neighbor to tell me she just bought a bike! And not just any bike… the very bike I was going to try to trade mine in for, a beautiful deep cobalt Sportster 1200 Low. Anyway, I’m thrilled for her – I can always pick another color, right? – and now she’s going nuts with this awesome bike sitting in her garage and 8 inches of snow on the ground! And, I’ve got a new riding buddy ready and waiting for warmer weather, as well as a fun neighbor!

Something else pretty cool happened back in December. A couple weeks before Christmas, I’d volunteered to help staff the fund-raising gift-wrap table for our HOG chapter. I was talking to one of the gals who had worked the previous shift and as we were talking she suddenly stopped me and said, “Hey wait a minute, aren’t you the gal with the Biker Chick website?” So I said, “You mean Biker Chick News?” And she said, “That’s it! Oh gosh I LOVE your site…” Well this was no small stroke to my ego, let me tell you – the first time I’ve ever been recognized as a celebrity! (Of course, it hasn’t happened again SINCE then, but that’s okay. If it’s happens too often my head’ll get too big and I won’t fit through the doorway.)

Anyhoo, I’m starting to think about what the 2007 bike season might bring – and if you’re in a “winter clime” I hope you are doing the same and following my anti-winter advice. If you’re NOT in a winter climate, well, lucky you – ride safe!

Start Small – or ‘Go Ultimate’?

by Janet Green, Editor, Biker Chick News
copyright 2007

If you’re thinking about learning to ride, you’re probably wondering if you should start out riding a small bike or just “go ultimate” and buy your dream bike right from the beginning. I’ll admit I’m a firm believer in the “start small” strategy, probably because that’s how I began my riding life. But, I know several people who started riding on bigger bikes and had no problems, so I know there are advantages to that strategy too. For what they’re worth, I’ve tried to outline the positives of each approach here.

Advantages of Starting Small

1. Virtually all beginners’ motorcycle safety classes use small bikes (125-250 cc) for students. It will be much easier for the new rider to make a transition to their own bike, once they get their license, if they start with a similar-sized, or only slightly larger, bike. The weight and handling of a large-cc bike would be completely different from the class experience, which might cause problems for riders who did not take to motorcycling with ease.

2. Starting small helps you build confidence. A smaller bike will feel more manageable and therefore, less intimidating. You may find that you quickly outgrow it, but you won’t be overwhelmed with a bike that’s too big, feels too heavy to control, or goes too fast too soon.

3. If you start with a small, used bike, you won’t have as much cash outlay at the beginning of your journey. It will be easy to sell the smaller used bike to the next beginner, and you won’t be “upside down” in an installment plan with a big, new bike, only to discover you don’t really care for motorcycling. You’ll also be less worried about “dropping” the smaller used bike, because it will likely have a few dings already – rather than being your brand-new pristine baby.

Advantages of ‘Going Ultimate’

1. You won’t have to go through the hassle of selling one or more bikes you’ve outgrown, possibly in a short period of time.

2. You’ll learn everything on the bike you plan to ride, so you won’t have an adjustment period getting used to new bikes as you move up.

3. This could be a less expensive option for you in the long run if you are “inheriting” a bike from someone else in the family who’s getting a new bike, or b). are buying a brand new bike and plan to keep it long enough to spread out the “hit” you’ll take in resale value.

If you’re the type of person who does well by grabbing a new challenge by the horns, and if you have no reservations about being able to handle the size and weight of a larger bike, by all means “go ultimate” and buy your dream bike. If you learn best by building confidence in graduated steps, or if you tend to refer to larger bikes as “beasts,” then starting small is probably your best option. Whichever you choose, ride safe! And – if you have something to add to this list, please send me an email!.

2006 Season Recap

Well it’s time to wrap up the 2006 riding season for this biker chick! We took probably our last cruise of the year on Sunday, October 29. Just a short hop “up around the lake,” but it was about 70 degrees and beautiful. Here are some highlights from the year: Riding in January was awesome! We had, I think, three days when it was above 45 degrees, so we took advantage and got the bikes out. Very unusual to be able to do that in Iowa. On July 15 I went on an all-girls’ ride with two of my friends and a great bunch of women I’d never met – we never did get a second ride planned for ’06, but I’m taking the lead in ’07 to get these gals organized as I had a blast! Also in July, hubby and I (and two friends, both who ride) took a butt-building ride over to see Albert the Bull in Audubon, Iowa – this was a very nice day trip where I got to hold up a giant set of concrete & plaster testicles.

The big trip took place the first week of August. Steve and I left on August 4 for the ride to Sturgis, our first trip to the mother of all rallies. I posted ride reports for each leg of the trip, as well as photo galleries, so grab a cup-o coffee and settle in for our little slideshow. It was definitely the highlight of the year; my favorite day was the day we rode through Spearfish Canyon and visited Deadwood. Another great trip was the “gal pal weekend” where my friend Susan and I rode to the Loess Hills Region of Iowa. We rode the Loess Hills Scenic Byway, stopped at the Harley dealership in Sioux City, then on to Le Mars where we stayed overnight and then took a tour of the Blue Bunny Dairy Visitor Center. Great weather, and the kind of meandering itinerary where you feel like you’ve done something major but at the end of the day you realize it took you 8 hours to go 250 miles.

And finally, of course the Toy Run sponsored by ABATE of Iowa – always a great way to end the season. I didn’t make any major purchases this year for the bike, though I got the full benefit of my Mustang seat (with driver backrest) and love the sound of my drag pipes.

It was a great summer; next year I’m thinking about trading in the ’00 Sporty 883 for an ’07 Sporty 1200 Custom. We’ll see if that happens. I may just commandeer hubby’s Heritage Softail Classic.

A site note: this website surpassed the 4,000 VISITOR mark in October – you, my readers, are the BEST!! I’m so glad to have you back here each month, and my plan is of course to provide something new or entertaining at least twice a month so please stick with me over the winter months!

More later –
Janet

A Stupid, Stupid Mistake!

I am a freaking IDIOT!!! I had today (Sept. 8) off as a vacation day from work, and after some errands and grocery shopping, DH and I went for a short ride around town. Stopped at the dealership, “where everybody knows my name…” LOL… then came home. Rolled into the garage, shut off ignition, turn bars to the left and proceed to park bike, except FORGOT TO PUT THE @#$ KICKSTAND DOWN!! I laid her down as easy as I could, but when she went over, she went completely on her side as I have no engine guards. DH parked and came over to help lift… Busted tail light lense and partially crushed tail light housing, and I think I also broke the bolt stem that holds my seat in place because the front end of it wiggles now. That fucker’s not even PAID FOR yet, being as it is on the “priceless” installment plan. We’ll remove the seat tomorrow to assess whether it can be fixed. No other damage, thank God, but CRIPES!! What the HELL was I thinking? So it was a perfect, beautiful blue-sky day, perfect for a ride… and I ruined it! (In fact, how’s this for come-uppance: I was riding along, looking sharp and feeling great, and thinking about how I’d been wanting to maybe trade the ol’ Sporty in for a Lowrider. But, because of our recent discovery of the need for some orthodontia in our family, the new-bike project had been put on hold. I was thinking, “I shouldn’t get a new bike anyway – I would probably drop it. I started out with a used bike, and never dropped it. Then the one time I did buy a brand-new bike – my Honda – I dropped it twice. Now I have a used bike again – the Sporty – and I’ve never dropped it.” So that’s what I get for taking pride in the fact that I’d never dropped the Picky Bitch! Apparently, she’s picky too about having her kickstand down as a condition for remaining upright!) *sigh*

Damage Control Update – the only damage was to the left rear turn signal lens and housing. The housing was slightly bent inward, which busted the lens. The filament inside the bulb was also broken off. The seat, miraculously, was not broken – just shifted which made it feel loose (I forgot that it’s not mounted with a bolt on the front, it’s mounted with a tab-and-slot system), so we tightened it back down and all is well. Hubby gently beat the signal housing back into shape with a ball peen hammer – if this had been a metric bike the housing would have been made of plastic and would have been shattered, so I’d have had to replace it. We had a bulb on hand, and I spent $5 on a new lens up at the dealership. Total cost to fix, $5 plus whatever we paid for that bulb awhile back. The housing still has a small scuff-mark, as does the butt-end of the clutch lever up on the handlebar, but that’s it. Did I mention how lucky I feel?

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