Here’s two things that happened over Memorial Day weekend that I feel bad about. For the past three years, we’ve made a point to go on a large-group ride to our state capitol’s memorial grounds, for a service at the Viet Nam memorial that’s hosted by a local ABATE member. It’s not an official event - just his own personal ride each year - but it has grown quite large. It’s usually held on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. Well this year, I didn’t receive any notifications about it like I usually do so on Saturday I went online to check the start time - and discovered it had been held a full week earlier. We missed it!Determined not to miss our own annual “moment of reflection” at the Iowa Wall, we rode up to the capitol on Sunday anyway (what a perfect, beautiful day!) to leave some flowers. As we approached on our (noisy) bikes, we discovered a large crowd gathered around the Viet Nam memorial where we focus our efforts - there was a service in progress! Embarrassed, we coasted as quietly as possible into the parking lot… we cut our engines off as soon as we were positioned to back into a parking spot, and then discovered that they were in the middle of playing “Taps.” Which, ideally, I’m sure they would have liked to have been played with a noiseless background. We felt awful about interrupting the ceremony, having had no idea that it would be taking place.

And, one thing I feel GREAT about: We approached the dispersing group looking as apologetic as possible just as it was breaking up to leave. My husband took the small bunch of silk flowers I’d fashioned and left them at the foot of the wall and then stepped back to study the names. This is, for him, a traditional visit that gives him the opportunity to remember why he carries on despite depression, diabetes, weight problems, divorces, etc. etc - because other guys didn’t get the chance to carry on. As we were standing there, a woman who was there quietly asked him if he knew how many Iowans had died in Viet Nam. We did a quick estimate of the number of names on the wall and guessed it to be about eight hundred. As she turned to walk away she said to him, “Thank you, sir, for your service. I appreciate it.” He was barely able to sqawk a “thank you” in return - he carries enough survivor guilt and all the baggage of a less-than-welcoming return, and to actually have someone thank him for years of service he’d been conditioned not to talk about was almost too much. Having lived with him for almost 18 years now, I know a little something about how much her words might have meant to him, and I believe it was good for him to hear it.

Then a little while later, back at the bikes and getting ready to leave, another woman was visiting with another couple on a bike - the man was wearing his Viet Nam veteran cap, and the other woman was relating a story about her brother who had been killed in combat during that time. Steve and I listened and joined in, Steve and this other man swapped a couple reminiscences. And again, as this woman turned to leave, she said, “Thank you both for your service. It was important and it means a lot.” And again my poor hubby was just ready to cry. This has never happened, I realize. No one has ever said “thank you” or “welcome home” to him.

I’m proud of him in so many ways - for coming out of that horrible time with his head screwed on fairly straight, for having a heart when it would be easy to become bitter, for continuing to be a courageous man who treasures esprit de corps and means it when he tells another marine, “Semper Fidelis.” I think this Memorial Day was really for him, more than any other we’ve shared in our 18 years together.

Welcome home, honey, I’m glad you’re here.

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In the “Just In Case You’re Curious” department, here’s a brief bit about a popular bit of biker leather - chaps! We can all guess that biker chaps have evolved from what the cowboys out on the range historically wore (and still wear), and we’d be right. But, the style bikers like - the kind that zip up the side and cover the entire leg - are only part of the historical picture.Wikipedia says, “The word is recorded in English since 1844, as an abbreviation of chaparajos, from Mexican or Spanish chaparreras. Words with similar background include chaparro or chaparral, the evergreen scrub vegetation that can tear at a rider’s legs and gave rise to the need for chaps.” Styles of chaps include:

• Batwing, which are cut wide with a flare at the bottom and have only with two or three fasteners around the thigh. This gives plenty of room for movement for the lower leg.
• Shotgun, are the type bikers wear. They fit snugly and completely around each leg, and the two legs are joined by a built-in belt at the waist. So-named because the legs resemble the double-barrel of a shotgun.
• Chinks are a half-length chap that usually come to just below the knee, with a couple of fasteners up around the thigh.
• Half chaps protect the lower portion of the leg only and are usually worn by English-style riders in place of tall boots.

Of particular interest to bikers, this little bit about shotgun-style chaps appeared recently on a Harley owners’ newsgroup.

The early Texans (mexicans and Anglos) of 1830-40’s designed the first full length leather britches, that completely encircled the legs and by the early 1870’s were called SHOTGUNS, because these seatless pants resembled a double barrel shotgun. The plain variety which were not adorned with fringe or conchos were called CLOSED LEGS. For big legged cowboys they fit snuggly around the legs and for some were difficult to remove with your boots and spurs on. The waistband is the defining characteristic of the period it came from. The early pairs had a belt that went all the way around the waist and buckled in the back. Most of these chaps were made of lightweight leather, doe, kid, calf, even shaved seal was offered in this style. By the 1880’s some chap makers were making two pieced chaps that were lased up the front, with a square waistband, up until the turn of the century when the curved or contoured waistband was introduced. Although these were the most popular style until the turn of the century, there were still many working cowboys that preferred this style. The 1900’s also added another feature, zippers. Most modern shotguns include zippers for a tighter tailored fit and are popular with cowboys and motorcycle enthusiasts.

Just thought you’d like to know!

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I thought that Harley-Davidson was really getting good about engineering their bikes for women… well, not necessarily for women, but doing things to the bikes (lower seat heights, easier-pulling clutches) that made them more appealing to a lot of women. But it’s possible they are still missing a big share of the market. Why? Because they seem stuck on an out-dated notion of “what bikers want.” Business management guru Tom Peters (In Search of Excellence) spoke on Friday 3/16 to the Quinnipiac University Business Leadership Forum. The New Haven Register of Connecticut reported that Peters named a few of the most pressing problems corporations are facing (among them failing to recognize women as one of the single most important markets in the world economy) and stated: “…the solution is to change the corporate mindset from selling raw materials or other goods and services to providing businesses and consumers with comprehensive solutions to problems and offering customers ‘experiences and dreams.’”

As an example, Peters “quoted a Harley-Davidson executive who said the company doesn’t just sell motorcycles: ‘What we sell is the ability for a 43-year-old accountant to dress in black leather, ride through small towns and have people be afraid of him.’”

Now the Register did not report the name of the HD exec who said this, and maybe that’s because Peters didn’t name his source outright. But whoever it was, clearly was only delivering part of the picture. Yes, some bikers might want small town-folk to fear them as part of their alter-ego fantasy. But HD needs to be careful in trying to characterize their entire customer base as male 43-year-old accountants. There are a lot more types of people than that buying Harleys, many of them women, and I’m willing to bet that “fear me” is not the statement the majority of them are trying to make - even in jest.

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I am a shopper. In fact, shopping for bike accessories is one of my favorite past-times. There is, however, a disturbing trend I’ve noticed recently.

Timepieces for motorcycles.

I first encountered this a couple years ago while shopping online. One of the neatest “new products” was a clockface that could easily be mounted to my handlebars. It was simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive. And my first reaction was, “How clever! How useful! I must have one!” I had my finger on the “submit order” button when the tiniest speck of doubt crept in. It wasn’t a fully formed opinion, it was just a nagging feeling. But it was enough to make me abandon my virtual shopping cart.

A few months later, I was in my local Harley Davidson showroom. The first of the ’07’s were finally on the sales floor, in all their 96-cubic inch glory. My favorite sales rep, who was always so friendly even though he’d been trained to know I wasn’t in buying mode just yet, immediately pulled me over to the new Sportster 1200, flipped on the ignition, and announced, “You’re going to love this - look: a built-in clock, built into the speedo!”

I took a reactive, involuntary step away from the bike. Uttered some non-committal things simply as a way to extricate myself. And went to hide among the HD pet-wear so I could ponder in relative peace: why is everyone pushing timepieces for motorcycles? And why do I instinctively, almost primordally, resist??

The answer’s really kind of a no-brainer. Like that handlebar clock, it’s beautiful in its simplicity. I don’t want to know what time it is when I’m on the bike. Keeping time is synonymous with schedules. Pressure. Real life. And I use the bike to escape all of that.

One of the best moments in “Wild Hogs” occurs at the end when Peter Fonda, in his cameo role as the wise old biker dude, advises our heroes to ditch their wrist watches. So I’m confident I’m in very good company on this one. And I’m still searching for that next simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive chromey bit to put on my bike. Something that doesn’t remind me of the world I’m trying to leave behind.

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If you’ve ever been accused of being a RUB (”rich urban biker”), you’ll love the new Touchstone comedy “Wild Hogs.” The movie stars John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy as middle-aged friends who decide to kick their weekend riding up a notch and take a cross-country road trip on their Harleys. The trip is frought with comedic peril as the guys encounter swarms of locusts, gay cops, infrequent gas stops, and a burly gang of “real bikers” led by Ray Liotta. Their various motivations for taking the trip all collide in a final showdown with the biker gang, and in the end it takes Peter Fonda to set it all straight. The epilogue that rolls during the closing credits gives us a peek at how the guys are able to have the last word with the bad-ass bikers. A few of the gags in the movie seemed to occur without much setup, so at times it felt a little dis-jointed… but, I had a great time with the guys’ journey and their various mishaps. I’m not too familiar with Macy, but he gave a lot of depth to the nerdy computer programmer Dudley, who tried real hard to be a bad-ass by getting a “tat” and who needed a little more practice on his Sportster. Tim Allen was absolutely loveable as Doug the Dentist, tiring of his cholesterol-conscious diet and facing the notion of growing older. Martin Lawrence - for once out of a gender-altering “Big Mama”-style costume - was delightful if hen-pecked; and Travolta’s growing sense of panic as Liotta’s gang pursues them was hilarious. Early cameos by the Teutels and supporting appearances by Marisa Tomeii and Jill Hennessey were amusing and charming. We had a great time with this movie - sure it was a little predictable, but much of it was laugh-out-loud funny and there were moments that were purely unexpected that made it a blast. Enjoy!

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I’m still thinking about Alton Brown. I blogged recently about becoming interested in cooking (at age 44? After 15 years of marriage and family? What can I say, late bloomer!), and mentioned that Alton Brown is one of the program hosts over on Food Network, and that he rides a BMW. He strikes me as the type of person I’d have something to talk about over the super-unleaded nozzles at that tiny gas station outside Rose Creek, MN… bikes, old highways, vanishing Americana… and road food.

He’s got a couple of shows on Food Network… “Good Eats” is terrific, a sort “Beakman’s World” with food. (Brilliant “Jaws” parody aired this week where Alton’s Richard Dreyfus character was recruited by the besieged townfolk to kill a giant scallop that allegedly ate somebody’s toe, and he ended up cooking scallops for guests on the Robert Shaw character’s boat… cripes, hilarious!)

But I digress. It’s his limited-run series “Feasting on Asphalt”… where he travels across the US on his BMW with a few pals looking for authentic local food – and, I’m guessing, an authentic on-the-road experience - that I’m concerned with here. The series was shot and aired in 2006 and was recently re-run. His travels remind me of the street rod trips we took in the early 90’s where we’d purposely go in search of local diners. Back in those days, I was self-publishing a street-rodding newsletter called “Family Rodder” where I wrote a lot about the cool stuff that made two-lane travel so satisfying, and occasionally lamenting how our mode of exploring America had evolved.

On the bikes, we’ve discovered more than a few gems: a mom-and-pop place going into Belle Fourche, SD, next door to the paleo-themed motel where we stayed on last year’s Sturgis trip… the Old Home Fill ‘Er Up and Keep on Truckin’ Cafe, still operating in Pisgah, Iowa despite the absence of C.W. McCall and Mavis; a place in Beresford, SD that delivered awesome ham steak and ribeye meals to our motel room because we were too tired to stumble across the road…

My lament - and the point of “Feasting on Asphalt” - has been that most of us just don’t travel the way Americans used to… we built the Interstate system and it got the trucks off the 2-lanes, but it also encouraged everyone else to hurry, too… to blow past those towns… now you have to make an effort and take the “business route” if you want something local. And because of that, we’ve “progressed” ourselves right out of an opportunity to explore, to learn something.

Here’s some hard truth: Eating local is a lot harder than sliding to a stop at McDonald’s right off the interstate. But, I believe it’s absolutely imperative if you want the full road experience. It’s certainly the only way you’re going to experience culinary variety, or get a sense of what regional food is, when you travel. Eating local also supports local communities – economically as well as culturally. It assures that small towns get to keep some of what makes them unique, and that the profit they earn from your meal doesn’t go to some corporate home-office out of state. Finally, there’s the concept of “shared adventure” in discovering an unfamiliar local place… the best dinners with friends on the road are had when you step into a hole in the wall and have something to talk about because you took a chance, for better or for worse. Of course, you’ll occasionally get a clinker of a meal this way. But it shouldn’t always be about getting good food - it should sometimes be about getting authentic food.

When Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – / I took the one less traveled by / And that has made all the difference” - well, he could have been addressing the pre-ride meeting of the local HOG club. Or Alton Brown, perched on that BMW in his driveway, anticipating the journey ahead. “Feasting on Asphalt” is proof that Alton, at least, was listening. Are you?

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Wow, it feels like just a week or so ago that we were counting down to Christmas, and now January’s two-thirds gone! I’m thrilled to see you all keep coming back… and I’m sorry I haven’t done a good job of keeping things fresh around here. My last couple of months have been very home-focused… I did a lot of hand-painted Christmas gifts this year, so I spent most of November and December working on those. With the new year came a resolution to start eating dinner at home more often (we’d been eating out in restaurants nearly every night for over a year - you can imagine what that did to our finances) so in January I got somewhat addicted to the Food Channel and the Food Network website (does anyone else wish Rachael Ray was their sister?)… anyway, we seem to have hit a new rhythm now with better food so I’m not spending quite as much time digging through recipes as I was a couple weeks ago.And wouldn’t you know it… at just the moment where I was ready to start thinking BIKES again… along comes my next-door neighbor to tell me she just bought a bike! And not just any bike… the very bike I was going to try to trade mine in for, a beautiful deep cobalt Sportster 1200 Low. Anyway, I’m thrilled for her - I can always pick another color, right? - and now she’s going nuts with this awesome bike sitting in her garage and 8 inches of snow on the ground! And, I’ve got a new riding buddy ready and waiting for warmer weather, as well as a fun neighbor!

Something else pretty cool happened back in December. A couple weeks before Christmas, I’d volunteered to help staff the fund-raising gift-wrap table for our HOG chapter. I was talking to one of the gals who had worked the previous shift and as we were talking she suddenly stopped me and said, “Hey wait a minute, aren’t you the gal with the Biker Chick website?” So I said, “You mean Biker Chick News?” And she said, “That’s it! Oh gosh I LOVE your site…” Well this was no small stroke to my ego, let me tell you - the first time I’ve ever been recognized as a celebrity! (Of course, it hasn’t happened again SINCE then, but that’s okay. If it’s happens too often my head’ll get too big and I won’t fit through the doorway.)

Anyhoo, I’m starting to think about what the 2007 bike season might bring - and if you’re in a “winter clime” I hope you are doing the same and following my anti-winter advice. If you’re NOT in a winter climate, well, lucky you - ride safe!

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by Janet Green, Editor, Biker Chick News
copyright 2007

If you’re thinking about learning to ride, you’re probably wondering if you should start out riding a small bike or just “go ultimate” and buy your dream bike right from the beginning. I’ll admit I’m a firm believer in the “start small” strategy, probably because that’s how I began my riding life. But, I know several people who started riding on bigger bikes and had no problems, so I know there are advantages to that strategy too. For what they’re worth, I’ve tried to outline the positives of each approach here.

Advantages of Starting Small

1. Virtually all beginners’ motorcycle safety classes use small bikes (125-250 cc) for students. It will be much easier for the new rider to make a transition to their own bike, once they get their license, if they start with a similar-sized, or only slightly larger, bike. The weight and handling of a large-cc bike would be completely different from the class experience, which might cause problems for riders who did not take to motorcycling with ease.

2. Starting small helps you build confidence. A smaller bike will feel more manageable and therefore, less intimidating. You may find that you quickly outgrow it, but you won’t be overwhelmed with a bike that’s too big, feels too heavy to control, or goes too fast too soon.

3. If you start with a small, used bike, you won’t have as much cash outlay at the beginning of your journey. It will be easy to sell the smaller used bike to the next beginner, and you won’t be “upside down” in an installment plan with a big, new bike, only to discover you don’t really care for motorcycling. You’ll also be less worried about “dropping” the smaller used bike, because it will likely have a few dings already - rather than being your brand-new pristine baby.

Advantages of ‘Going Ultimate’

1. You won’t have to go through the hassle of selling one or more bikes you’ve outgrown, possibly in a short period of time.

2. You’ll learn everything on the bike you plan to ride, so you won’t have an adjustment period getting used to new bikes as you move up.

3. This could be a less expensive option for you in the long run if you are “inheriting” a bike from someone else in the family who’s getting a new bike, or b). are buying a brand new bike and plan to keep it long enough to spread out the “hit” you’ll take in resale value.

If you’re the type of person who does well by grabbing a new challenge by the horns, and if you have no reservations about being able to handle the size and weight of a larger bike, by all means “go ultimate” and buy your dream bike. If you learn best by building confidence in graduated steps, or if you tend to refer to larger bikes as “beasts,” then starting small is probably your best option. Whichever you choose, ride safe! And - if you have something to add to this list, please send me an email!.

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Well it’s time to wrap up the 2006 riding season for this biker chick! We took probably our last cruise of the year on Sunday, October 29. Just a short hop “up around the lake,” but it was about 70 degrees and beautiful. Here are some highlights from the year: Riding in January was awesome! We had, I think, three days when it was above 45 degrees, so we took advantage and got the bikes out. Very unusual to be able to do that in Iowa. On July 15 I went on an all-girls’ ride with two of my friends and a great bunch of women I’d never met - we never did get a second ride planned for ‘06, but I’m taking the lead in ‘07 to get these gals organized as I had a blast! Also in July, hubby and I (and two friends, both who ride) took a butt-building ride over to see Albert the Bull in Audubon, Iowa - this was a very nice day trip where I got to hold up a giant set of concrete & plaster testicles.

The big trip took place the first week of August. Steve and I left on August 4 for the ride to Sturgis, our first trip to the mother of all rallies. I posted ride reports for each leg of the trip, as well as photo galleries, so grab a cup-o coffee and settle in for our little slideshow. It was definitely the highlight of the year; my favorite day was the day we rode through Spearfish Canyon and visited Deadwood. Another great trip was the “gal pal weekend” where my friend Susan and I rode to the Loess Hills Region of Iowa. We rode the Loess Hills Scenic Byway, stopped at the Harley dealership in Sioux City, then on to Le Mars where we stayed overnight and then took a tour of the Blue Bunny Dairy Visitor Center. Great weather, and the kind of meandering itinerary where you feel like you’ve done something major but at the end of the day you realize it took you 8 hours to go 250 miles.

And finally, of course the Toy Run sponsored by ABATE of Iowa - always a great way to end the season. I didn’t make any major purchases this year for the bike, though I got the full benefit of my Mustang seat (with driver backrest) and love the sound of my drag pipes.

It was a great summer; next year I’m thinking about trading in the ‘00 Sporty 883 for an ‘07 Sporty 1200 Custom. We’ll see if that happens. I may just commandeer hubby’s Heritage Softail Classic.

A site note: this website surpassed the 4,000 VISITOR mark in October - you, my readers, are the BEST!! I’m so glad to have you back here each month, and my plan is of course to provide something new or entertaining at least twice a month so please stick with me over the winter months!

More later -
Janet

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by Janet Green, Editor, Biker Chick News
copyright 2006

When I first started riding my own bike, I was happy just to get out and practice. This usually meant a ride “up around the lake,” which gave me a variety of things to encounter: curves, tight turns, road surfaces, etc. This was fine when I was very new to riding, and still thinking purposefully about the mechanical operation of the bike, when to do what as far as shifting, leaning, and that sort of thing. But there came a point where I wanted to GO somewhere… since the day I’d started, I’d had a vision of packing up the bike and taking a trip, and I finally I felt that I was done practicing, and ready to “really ride.” But where to go, and what to do? As it turned out, an invitation from some online riding sisters determined my destination and, ultimately, the route for my first overnight/longer distance ride. But in finally settling on that particular ride, I hit upon a few other ways for generating ideas about “where to go and what to do,” so for what they’re worth, I’ll share them here.

1. Draw circles on your atlas. One day I was bored and wanted to generate ideas for future road trips. I wanted to know what I could explore in my immediate region, say, no more than 2 hours away by car. So, by using the scale of miles on my atlas and some drawing tools, I was able to put some circles around my home city that showed where I could go if I wanted to go 60, 90 or 120 miles out before heading back. The map gave me cities and towns, some points of interest, scenic roads and state parks. I was able to come up with quite a list of things to see just from this one exercise.

2. I found more ideas in my state’s tourism guide. I’m sure every state has these, and many of them are online. (Here is the one for Iowa, in case you’re interested.) It was easier to browse the print guide than the online version, but by leafing through it I was able to find attractions, events and places in my state that I had never heard of. Those that interested me went on the list of “rides to ride,” no matter how far away they are from my home city.

3. Pick a theme. At one point I was getting quite elaborate with my trip planning. I dreamed up a theme and would come up with three or four rides that suited that theme, and called it a “Tour.” For example, the Shop til you Drop Tour included day-rides to J&P Cycles in Anamosa, Iowa (to shop for chrome), Jordan Creek Town Centre in West Des Moines to shop for shoes and cheesecake, and a couple others. A day-ride by itself could also be centered around a theme; I planned a “four corners” tour where I would hit the town in the four corner-most locations of my state (this would have actually taken two days), and a “World Tour” where I planned a route that went through towns named after famous places (Jamaica, Orient, Peru, Nevada, Paris, etc. - all towns in Iowa). Another “tour” just had me riding all of my state’s designated scenic highways over a period of several weeks.

4. Pick up a “roadside oddities” book for your state. My book on “roadside Iowa” includes all kinds of fascinating locations, from the Villisca Murder House and the Grotto of the Redemption, to the giant Strawberry of Strawberry Point and the giant bull in Audobon.

5. Tune in when you hear people talking, and be ready to recognize possible destination ideas wherever they may come from. I work for our local chamber of commerce, and one of my jobs is to answer the emails that come into the “info@” email address on our website. One day I received an email from someone asking about where they could find a roadside attraction that was rumored to be a “painted rock with a military theme.” A couple minutes’ internet research revealed the “Painted Rock” over by Greenfield, Iowa, painted with a veterans’ mural prior to each Memorial Day by a young man who had recently graduated from Iowa State University. A new destination was added to my own list!

Thanks to these ideas, I have somewhere around 50 planned rides that I can take when the mood strikes. I’m sure there are other ways to generate ideas, but when you get stuck wondering “Where can we go,” just try one of the above and you’ll find yourself out on the road!

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I am a freaking IDIOT!!! I had today (Sept. off as a vacation day from work, and after some errands and grocery shopping, DH and I went for a short ride around town. Stopped at the dealership, “where everybody knows my name…” LOL… then came home. Rolled into the garage, shut off ignition, turn bars to the left and proceed to park bike, except FORGOT TO PUT THE @#$ KICKSTAND DOWN!! I laid her down as easy as I could, but when she went over, she went completely on her side as I have no engine guards. DH parked and came over to help lift… Busted tail light lense and partially crushed tail light housing, and I think I also broke the bolt stem that holds my seat in place because the front end of it wiggles now. That fucker’s not even PAID FOR yet, being as it is on the “priceless” installment plan. We’ll remove the seat tomorrow to assess whether it can be fixed. No other damage, thank God, but CRIPES!! What the HELL was I thinking? So it was a perfect, beautiful blue-sky day, perfect for a ride… and I ruined it! (In fact, how’s this for come-uppance: I was riding along, looking sharp and feeling great, and thinking about how I’d been wanting to maybe trade the ol’ Sporty in for a Lowrider. But, because of our recent discovery of the need for some orthodontia in our family, the new-bike project had been put on hold. I was thinking, “I shouldn’t get a new bike anyway - I would probably drop it. I started out with a used bike, and never dropped it. Then the one time I did buy a brand-new bike - my Honda - I dropped it twice. Now I have a used bike again - the Sporty - and I’ve never dropped it.” So that’s what I get for taking pride in the fact that I’d never dropped the Picky Bitch! Apparently, she’s picky too about having her kickstand down as a condition for remaining upright!) *sigh*

Damage Control Update - the only damage was to the left rear turn signal lens and housing. The housing was slightly bent inward, which busted the lens. The filament inside the bulb was also broken off. The seat, miraculously, was not broken - just shifted which made it feel loose (I forgot that it’s not mounted with a bolt on the front, it’s mounted with a tab-and-slot system), so we tightened it back down and all is well. Hubby gently beat the signal housing back into shape with a ball peen hammer - if this had been a metric bike the housing would have been made of plastic and would have been shattered, so I’d have had to replace it. We had a bulb on hand, and I spent $5 on a new lens up at the dealership. Total cost to fix, $5 plus whatever we paid for that bulb awhile back. The housing still has a small scuff-mark, as does the butt-end of the clutch lever up on the handlebar, but that’s it. Did I mention how lucky I feel?

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by Janet Green, Editor, Biker Chick News
copyright 2006

The more you ride, the more you’re going to notice “little things” that need to be addressed with further modifications to the bike. Fortunately, there are “after market” parts for every problem you’ll experience. Here are a few of the more common post-purchase “mods” you might want to make!

Problem: You feel like those cows in the movie “Twister.”
When you’re ready to hit the highway, the first thing you’ll notice is how windy it is out there and how much you feel like you and your bike are being tossed around, even on a day when the treetops aren’t swaying in the breeze. That’s aerodynamics at work: you on your motorcycle are meeting air as you travel, and the fact that you’re basically a squared off, upright object is causing the air to hit you head-on in a most un-dynamic way. The need for protective eyewear quickly becomes apparent, and if you’re wearing a helmet you’ll notice that the force – even on a calm day – can push your whole head backwards as the air tries to make a kite out of your visor.

Solution: Add a windshield!
Adding a windshield to your bike makes the kind of night-and-day difference in highway riding that makes you smack your own forehead and ask yourself why you didn’t do it sooner. The main thing the windshield does is deflect the frictional force that hits your body-and-bike “object” as it moves down the road. It doesn’t help you much in the case of a strong cross-wind, but it definitely protects your head and body from taking the brunt of the air’s force as you travel forward. It’s important to note that it doesn’t take a big, wide windshield to reduce this force. Even a small “sport” windshield will dramatically change the way air flows over your bike, reducing the air’s impact on you. Don’t feel like you have to settle for a big police cruiser-style ’shield if that’s not the look you want.

Problem: Your bike emits a low, efficient “whirring” sound instead of a satisfying rumble

Solution: Pipe up!
Okay, we all know that the main reason to change those exhaust pipes is simple: we love the rumble, and we want to make some noise, good citizenship be damned! And, you can make a pretty good argument for the notion that “loud pipes save lives.” But there’s another reason to change out the pipes: different exhaust changes the way air flows through the bike’s engine, which can give you more horsepower at higher RPM’s. If you change your exhaust, you’ll probably also need to re-jet the carbureator, to account for the easier-breathing engine. One down-side here is that you could lose pep on the bottom end: things may feel a little sluggish when you pull away from that intersection. So, while you might find that shiney new (rumbly) pipes will increase your hp and your overall “wow” factor, they also might change the way you feed the throttle when you take off from a stop.

Problem: your wrists ache from gripping the bars and keeping the throttle open.

Solution: Get a Grip – A hand-grip, that is!
The degree to which your hands, wrists and forearms ache after a ride can be addressed in a number of ways, not the least of which is to simply relax a little… if you’re a new rider, you’re probably using the “death grip” on those handlebars. This will quickly make your forearms ache, and simply relaxing your grip a bit will make a noticeable difference.

Your bike’s handlebars and handgrips might also be causing you problems. Particularly with drag bars, which put your hands in a parallel-to-the-ground position when riding, comfortable handgrips might be an easy change that will make a big difference. If you have drag bars and find your hands aching, try putting on a set of comfort grips to provide some padding as your weight comes down on your hands and wrists. And, don’t forget the wrist-rest! You can attach a simple little device to the right hand grip that allows you press down with the heel of your hand and open your fingers, keeping the throttle open while you relax your grip. This is, frankly, a life-saver on longer trips.

Problem: You have nowhere to put your stuff.

Solution: Bag it.
In the male world, it’s probably bikers who can most identify with women who say they need a place to put their stuff. Those bar-hopping chopper guys aside, bikers who travel on their bikes appreciate their saddlebags, t-bags, and little pouches and pockets of every size and purpose. Fortunately, solutions to this problem are plentiful. Options range from large full saddlebags that mount on the back of the bike, collapsible rolling suitcases that attach to the sissy bar, to pouches that fit on the inside of your windshield or attach to your own belt loops for quick access to frequently-needed items.

Problem: Your bike seems dull, lifeless, utterly without bling

Solution: Go shopping!
This is why motorcycles are the perfect hobby for women who love to shop: there’s always some bit of chrome you can add to brighten things up or some accessory you can add to make things more fun or more convenient. The possibilities here are endless, from a chrome choke knob cover or a fully-chromed engine and transmission case for maximum shine, to leather or vinyl saddlebags or other totes for maximum storage. And here’s even MORE good news: you can pick a theme, and choose bits that dress up the bike in a highly personalized style. Trying to scare the kiddies? Try the skull theme! Want to create at least the illusion of speed, even while you’re still learning? Maybe flames are for you! Finally, don’t ignore yourself: that awesomely courageous, “I am Woman Hear Me Roar” rider – you deserve to outfit yourself in the best protective gear, the coolest biker-babe t-shirts, and anything else that tells the world “I ride and I love it!”

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A little farther down this page are my ruminations on a topic that seems to come up fairly often in one of my favorite online motorcycle discussion forums - the question of why one rides a Harley instead of any other brand. It’s interesting to me that the question is - at least as far as I can remember - always posed by a metric rider. It’s never a Harley person asking, “Why do you ride a Yamaha?” I will admit to getting a little annoyed at the fact that this keeps coming up - I think the people asking are usually sincere in their intentions to learn something, but the way the discussion goes usually ends up with at least a little bit of Harley bashing. The angle of the bash is usually monetary - the folks who own metrics claim that there’s no reason to pay extra for a Harley, when metrics are “just as much bike for less money,” as if that were an objective end-all statement. Whether a Honda is just as much bike as a Harley is, of course, in the eye of the beholder.

One of the issues that also comes up during these discussions is the notion of the “Harley Mystique.” New riders have had other people tell them that “there’s a certain mystique” about owning a Harley, but they can’t get any more specific than that. The phrase “If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand” gets thrown around, but personally if someone gave me that line I’d demand something more specific. So in my response to the thread this time around, I took on the task of trying to explain the mystique, at least as I personally translate the notion. I’ve owned Yamahas, Hondas and Harleys, and my Sportster is my favorite. The “mystique” is actually what I like best about it, and that mystique comes from the history of the company and the way it has evolved as an icon in popular culture. The bike itself may be more expensive, but it is like owning something that has a unique place in history. The metric bikes I’ve owned were fun, and cheaper, but they did not give *me* that sense of being part of a long tradition. I personally enjoy that feeling, though I know that others feel paying less money or having a bike that’s engineered a little differently is more important. Another aspect I enjoy of HD ownership is the strong owners’ community that HD has built, both locally and nationally. My experience, both personally and anecdotally, with the metric dealers has been that they just don’t do this as well as HD. So, history and community are why I ride a Harley, and I don’t mind paying a little more for those things even though they are intangible.

As for the monetary aspect, let’s put that to rest. Unless you’re paying cash outright, you’re financing your purchase. And HD is currently financing Sportsters for as little as $99 a month. Anyone who is arranging their finances to make a bike a priority will find that’s about as cheap as it gets, and even HD’s smaller 883 engine is bigger and badder than a whole slew of the Hondas, Suzuki’s and Yamahas. (There’s always the 1200 Sportster, too, for $125 a month, if you must.) So assuming you like the looks and the bike fits you, money shouldn’t be the issue. Now granted, that leaves you with lots of other potentially valid reasons for buying a metric, and as long as the bike fits you and you like it, that’s great and you should absolutely choose the bike that best communicates the freedom and magic of riding on two wheels. If that’s not an HD for you, so be it - but quit harping about the cost, because that argument just doesn’t float.

Here’s the real bottom line. No one cares what you ride. Buy the bike that fits you and makes you feel great. But don’t accuse Harley owners of being the snobs, because in my experience it’s been the metric owners who make the snide comments and put people down for the brand they’ve chosen. Shame on them.

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by Janet Green, Editor, Biker Chick News
copyright 2006

If you’re under 5-foot-3 and shopping for a bike, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how many bikes really do fit you. And chances are, one of those bikes is going to reach out and knock you over the head with its styling, its “cool factor,” and its general overall suitability. But, just in case the bike that speaks to you the loudest doesn’t fit you perfectly the way it sits on the salesroom floor, there are a few simple modifications (”mods”) you can keep in mind that just might solve one of two key height-related problems.

Problem 1: You can’t “flat-foot” the bike.
In order to have the most and best control over the bike at slow or no speed you should be able to sit in the saddle with the bike pulled upright off the kickstand, knees bent, your feet planted flat on the floor. If you’re up on the balls of your feet, or worse, tip-toed, you won’t have complete control when you roll up to a stop and put your foot down or when you’re straddle-walking the bike backwards out of the garage or into a parking spot.

Solution: Lowering the bike.
You can physically lower the bike itself a couple of ways, but they both involve changing the suspension components - namely, the shock absorbers. On most bikes, the shocks are mounted to the frame and to the swingarm. You can purchase a special bracket that will allow you to loosen the mounting bolts, slide the shocks to slide the shock back an inch or so, bringing the frame-with-fender down a bit closer to the tire in the rear, which might be enough to get you flat-footed.

You could also replace the stock shock absorbers with shorter shocks, bringing things down even further. If you go this route, make sure you don’t go so short that the tire is likely to rub on the underside of the fender when the shock is compressed (i.e., you hit a bump, or add a passenger or luggage.)

If that’s still not enough, you can also purchase a kit that lowers the front of the bike by changing the springs inside the fork tubes. Again, make sure you aren’t creating a situation where parts of the bike will rub together that weren’t intended to do so. Alternate solutions: You might be able to flat-foot the bike just by changing out the seat. A bike with a wide seat will spread your legs farther apart before they head toward the ground. A narrow-profile seat might give you just enough extra room to get you flat-footed. And, if you’re just up on the balls of your feet instead of tip-toe, it’s possible you could get by just by purchasing boots with a taller heel and sole.

Problem 2: You can’t comfortably reach the handlebars.
Obviously, being able to reach the handgrips is key to comfortably operating and controlling the bike. From a design stand-point, lots of bikes today have “drag bars” - drag-racing style handlebars that come out in a nearly-straight line from the triple tree, extending left and right but not coming back toward you. These bars can force the shorter rider to hunch forward and reach way out to the right and left, putting body weight on your wrists and causing a burning sensation between the shoulder blades after only a short ride. (Kind of like that old ten-speed you used to ride with the curled-under handlebars - which, not coincidentally, was also originally designed for aerodynamic racing.)

Solution: Different handlebars, or pullback risers.
Depending on how far you have to hunch forward, you can try a couple of things here. Pullback risers are little chromey bits you put in between the tree and the bars to bring the bars up and back toward you in inch-increments. Small risers can make a big difference, so ask your dealer to help you determine how much pull-back you need.

You can also try a different handlebar style altogether. Buckhorn bars (and their next-bigger cousin, mini ape-hangers) bring the hand grips back toward you, and put your hands at an angle on the handgrips so your body sits back a bit and your weight rests on your butt and lower back instead of your wrists. Full ape-hangers will likely raise your arms above shoulder-level, which looks “old-school cool” but might make the upper arms ache. Finally, beach bars form a wide curve back toward the rider - like using half a steering wheel from the city bus. These have a distinct look and bring the grips back toward you, with your hands in a straight position similar to the drag bars (but probably with better weight distribution). Of course, if choosing different bars you’ll want to consider the design and look of your bike, too. Beach bars might look hot on a wide cruiser, but they’ll likely look out of place on a narrower bike.

An important caveat here is that adding risers or changing the bars could also mean you’ll need longer or shorter clutch control cables and/or brake lines to accommodate the adjusted distance.

Shorter riders needn’t fear the bike-shopping experience. While it’s true that making these modifications will change the final price of the bike, it’s also true that making a bike fit you perfectly is actually part of the process - and part of the fun!

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A good friend of mine at work is considering buying a motorcycle. The problem is, he’s also considering buying a scooter. Now for the right person, a scooter’s a fine choice. And maybe it’s his international upbringing that makes him think he’d be just as nifty on a Honda Metropolitan as he’d be on a Harley, but I think it’s time for a little “Biker 101.” So, in an effort to help my dear friend acquire the right vehicle for his single, stable, good-looking, 43-year-old self, I’ve compiled this comparison which clearly shows the right choice. I’m sure he’ll thank me later.

Harley: American legend.
Scooter: Urban myth.

Harley: Attracts chicks.
Scooter: Attracts bugs.

Harley: Rugged, sexy, alpha.
Scooter: Cute, sweet, “just friends”

Harley: Makes the statement, “I was born to ride.”
Scooter: Makes the statement, “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go.”

Harley: Sturgis, Daytona, Conesville, bike night
Scooter: Quik-Trip

Harley: Active owner’s group meets mutliple times per month for meetings, rides, special events, and continuous customer appreciation
Scooter: Annual registration renewal at county administration building (sparsely attended)

Harley: Pack bike with tent, sleeping bag, duffle bag and folding chairs for impromptu camping getaway
Scooter: Pack “bike” with grocery bags containing elements of pathetic sedentary home life (limit 2)

Harley: Dude, it’s a Harley.
Scooter: Dude, it’s a scooter.

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There’s a show on the “Style Channel” (yes, I’m a woman of many interests!) called “The Look for Less.” This is the one where the host shows you stylish outfits direct from the fashion runway, and shows you how to shop for similar pieces and create the same look on a budget.

This theme occurred to me while reading my March ‘06 issue of Iron Works, because I came upon an article where they showed you how to outfit a Sportster for long distance or multi-day riding. As I tallied the cost of this project in my head, I realized that I could do them one better: I had outfitted my own Sporty just last year for this very same purpose, and knew I had done it for a lot less. Now granted, I didn’t achieve the exact same look - but I got the same functionality for a fraction of the price. And, my project was even cheaper because two of the items were already *on* my bike when I bought it used. I counted the cost of those two items in my tally anyway, knowing it would still be cheaper than the magazine’s version.

The magazine outfitted their Sporty using all “official” HD parts. Mine has a few of those, but frankly, you can save some serious bucks by shopping with aftermarket vendors like J&P Cycles. The total price for the magazine’s project, using all HD parts, was $1,985. This included using HD’s new fiberglass color-matched hard bags - which, by the way, look beautiful - which by themselves cost $955.

My project, completed last summer in time to go on my first overnight road trip, included the following accessories:

• Willie & Max “Wild Willie” saddlebags - $144
• Saddle bag supports - $43 (came on the bike)
• Turn signal relocation kit - $33
• Fender-mounted luggage rack & mounting kit - $69
• Sport windshield - $155 (HD brand, came on the bike)
• Leather travel bag, duffel style - $10

The total for my project was $454… If you take into account the fact that I didn’t have to purchase the windshield or the bag supports (because they were on the bike when I bought it), my total cash outlay was only $256. So take your pick… $454, or $256, versus $1,985. Now I’ll grant you, spending more gets you the official HD accessories and those cool color-matched hard bags - fine by me, if that’s the look you want. But to me, the “look” I wanted was less sleek and more casual, and it cost me a boatload less.

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January was a particularly mild month around here, and folks are asking me if I got to ride the bike. I did - three different times! - and managed to put a little over 100 miles on it in a month when temps are normally in the teens. The next question always seems to be, “Doesn’t it piss you off to be teased like that?” Meaning, predictions are that Feb. will be closer to normal winter time weather. On the contrary, I’m not pissed at all. Those mild January days were a gift, and I for one took advantage of them as best I could. But I’m a realist: I know that February isn’t normally a month for motorcycles, so I don’t expect the whole winter season to just disappear simply because we got lucky a few times. Having the opportunity to ride in January was exhilirating, and I think I can now hunker back down for a month if necessary safe in the knowledge that the end of February is not too far away and that the next month - March - is Spring.

Speaking of February, Punxatawny Phil saw his shadow so according to the legend that means there’ll be six more weeks of winter. Which leads me to wonder: who comes up with this crap?? I can’t help but ask every year why we rely on a giant rodent to reaffirm what we already know: February is a winter month, and it’s always gonna be that way! I think this somehow constitutes cruelty to animals, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t PETA be involved? I mean we’re disturbing the natural hybernation cycle of an innocent animal for our own selfish purposes. Sure seems to me like someone should be standing by, ready to throw paint on those uppity Pennsylvanians who rattle Phil out of his slumber every Feb. 2. I would travel there and do it myself, but I’ve been busy teaching my Parakeet to predict the Lottery numbers. He hit the PowerBall number last week, so I figure it’s only a matter of time.

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Just returned from a car trip over to Madison, Wisconsin to see my brother and his growing family – and discovered a couple of areas that need to be explored on the bike.

First, the city of Dubuque, Iowa. Dubuque is home to the America’s River museum & fresh-water aquarium, which is dedicated to the history and importance of the Mississippi River. I’ve been wanting to go to this new Iowa attraction since it opened in 2004. I think it would be a great family trip.

Also, coming into Dubuque on Highway 151 is really noteworhy – you come around a curve on the downhill, and there’s a dramatic bridge up ahead with a view of the town along the river’s edge that just makes you say “Wow!” All the old buildings close to the river give you an immediate sense of how the town developed, along with the realization of how far and how fast things progressed westward in this country.

The other area I’d like to return to on the bike is just Highway 151 in general. As you cross the Mighty Mississippi into Wisconsin, it’s amazing – the landscape immediately changes to include highways cut out of rocky bluffs, lots of long curves and pretty hills, and those dairy farms Wisconsin is famous for. It was a lovely drive… and the fact that we got to stop-n-shop at J&P Cycles in Anamosa, Iowa was an added plus!

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In one of the Harley discussion forums I visit, someone asked whether there was anyone in the group who had ever said they would “never” own a Harley, and then found themselves owning one anyway. I thought it was an interesting question - certainly there are people who are obsessively devoted to the brand, and then at the opposite end of the spectrum there are folks who claim that HD has “brainwashed” people with their pervasive merchandising.

I worked this question over in my mind a bit, and realized I had gone through a process to get to the point of Harley ownership. When I first started riding I wasn’t concerned a bit about what I rode. I learned and tested on an old Yamaha 250, and as soon as I had my endorsement I suddenly decided that the “learner bike” wasn’t good enough anymore. So the next spring I bought a new Honda shadow 750 - we had looked at an ‘03 Sportster Anniversary edition (with the “Gold Key” package - DON’T get me started on that!) but it would have maxed out our available financing options, PLUS I would’ve had to spend another grand just to lower it and get the bars set back enough to fit me. I couldn’t justify that cost even a little bit! The Honda was a gorgeous bike, though not the one I originally wanted… Still, it grew on me and I was just not itching for an HD.

In late ‘04, we bought my husband an ‘05 Heritage Softail Classic, and joined the local HOG chapter. He is actually the one who seemed insecure about the fact that I was an associate HOG member and yet rode a Honda, and he kept telling me how much “better” it was to own a Harley, how much more “part of the group” I would feel if I rode a Harley. I didn’t really agree, or necessarily care, but it was the second time in two years he had tried to buy me a Sportster, so I said what the heck, might as well let him!

And now? Well, my Sportster is my favorite of all the bikes I’ve owned. It just “feels” different, like it has more motorcycle history behind it or something..?? Maybe it’s the residue of the “bad-ass” image… I don’t know, can’t really explain it, but I feel different on my Harley than I did on my Honda. I know that a lot of people have a big issue (or claim that they do) about Harley logos being on everything, but the end result of all that merchandising is that Harley has built tremendous brand loyalty - and therefore, a community of owners. Frankly, the metric bike companies don’t even come close - and as a former Honda owner, I found it very disappointing that I couldn’t walk into the dealership and buy a cool t-shirt, or even get greeted by my salesman, let alone find out about the next Honda Riders Club event. (Contrast that to my local HD dealer, who contacts me at least monthly by email with an owner’s newsletter and who built a huge new building and included a HOG chapter meeting room in his plans just so his customers would have a gathering spot.)

SO - while I never said never, and while I can’t explain very well why being an HD owner is a great experience, and while I certainly owe my entire “biker beginnings” to the metric bikes, I will be a Harley owner for the foreseeable future. I love my Sporty, and I have to admit, I really like the company behind it too!

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