The No-B.S. Beginner’s Guide to Learning How to Ride A Motorcycle – Part 2

What Bike Should I Get? – This question has a zillion possible correct answers, depending on your comfort-level with riding at the time you’re ready to shop, the type of bike you want to own (sport bike? cruiser?), your budget, your personal tastes, brand appeal, etc. For simplicity’s sake, though, I’ll take a stab and answer the question directly assuming you want a cruiser that’s similar to what you used in your MSF course. The three major manufacturer bikes I would recommend for absolute beginners are:

• The Yamaha Virago 250 – a great-looking, easy to handle V-twin.
• The Honda Rebel 250 – classic-styled, chain-driven 250
• The Kawasaki 125 – single-cylinder five-speed, air-cooled commuter bike

If you’re confident in your abilities but not ready for the heavyweight cruisers, there are a few more choices. These are my favorites, in no particular order:

• The Yamaha VStar 650 – Classic, custom, or Silverado styling; an awesome middleweight cruiser you may never outgrow.
• The Honda VLX or VLX Deluxe – Low to the ground, four-speed 600.
• The Honda 750’s: Aero & Spirit – five-speed bikes with forward controls
• Harley Davidson Sportster 883, Standard or Low – If your heart’s set on Harley, the 883 has the HD looks, sound and agility. Of the majors, only the Honda Aero has a lower seat height.
• Kawasaki Vulcan – sizes range from 500 to the 900 Classic.
• Suzuki Boulevard C50 and S50 bikes – five speeds, forward controls, higher seat height

For a more thorough comparison of these and other bikes, try the BikerChickNews Short Rider Spreadsheet. Although it was intended to be a round-up of cruiser models for shorter riders, it also serves well as a guide to mid-weight bikes from various manufacturers. It’s by no means complete, but it might be a good place to start.

Another Quick Link

Women riders in the news at the Daytona Beach News Journal Online. Oh! And guess what: I GOT TO RIDE TODAY!! That’s March 11, first ride of the year! It was upper 50’s here today and I had intended to just get the bike out of the garage and clean ‘er up/inspect, because we still have a patch of frozen gunk at the end of our driveway. Then my neighbor came out, got on her bike and rode away, and I thought, hell’s bells, I’m goin’ ridin’! I just took a ride around town on the main streets (too much sand still on the side streets), ran out of gas and had to switch to reserve and then fill up… but hey, I was so freakin’ HAPPY to be out on the road. I feel SO much better!

The No-B.S. Beginner’s Guide to Learning How to Ride A Motorcycle – Part 1

I’ve said it before: women learn differently than men. My personal feeling is that we’re more cautious, more studious, and less “just do it.” We’re also pretty supportive of each other in general, but when serious questions arise about how, exactly, one gets started riding motorcycles, that can lead to inadvertant sugar-coating and very vague answers given in such a round-about way as to be completely meaningless. So here is an attempt to bust through all the nicey-nice… you can still get that elsewhere… and just answer some questions directly. We’ll take it in small chunks because, well, it’s just easier to write it that way. The first question for a new rider always comes from that place in the woman’s heart that wants to be practical, yet take a risk, yet not have any nasty surprises as she’s getting started down a new road. The question is, “What do I need to get started?”

It’s tempting to try to pass this question off with something really vague and diplomatic like, “That’s different for every person.” But since this isn’t the nicey-nice Beginner’s Guide, I’ll take a stand and say you can actually boil it down to a short list of five things you need to get started riding. Here they are:

1. You need a practice bike. Borrow or buy a small-cc brike from someone who can show you the proper start-up procedure for that bike. (They’re not going to teach you to ride, but it would be helpful if they could show you how to start the bike.) Don’t forget insurance.
2. You need some safety gear. A DOT-approved helmet, leather or armored textile jacket, and sturdy riding boots that cover your ankles and have solid gripping soles are necessities. Some type of gloves, at least the fingerless style that cover your palms, are also a good idea.
3. You need instruction. You can learn from a trusted, experienced friend or spouse, but you run the risk of picking up bad riding habits. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) offers courses at venues across the country, and some insurance companies offer a discount if you train with MSF.
4. You need a practice area. Just because you pass your MSF doesn’t mean you’ll feel comfortable enough to cruise out on the highway immediately. A large parking lot, preferably empty, is ideal.
5. Finally, you need support, or at least encouragement, preferably from an experienced rider. Tackling a new skill is always easier if you have someone to cheer you on or even help you learn and practice. At a minimum, you need a person who will speak encouraging words and who won’t constantly berate you for trying or blather on about the horrible accident their friend’s cousin was in.

So that’s it, the bare necessities if you want to learn to ride. Don’t skimp on ’em, they’re important. Experienced riders, anything you want to add? Just send me an email!Part Two of the No-B.S. Beginner’s Guide will cover the most burning question new riders face: “What Bike Should I Get?”

“Lose the Watches…”

I am a shopper. In fact, shopping for bike accessories is one of my favorite past-times. There is, however, a disturbing trend I’ve noticed recently.

Timepieces for motorcycles.

I first encountered this a couple years ago while shopping online. One of the neatest “new products” was a clockface that could easily be mounted to my handlebars. It was simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive. And my first reaction was, “How clever! How useful! I must have one!” I had my finger on the “submit order” button when the tiniest speck of doubt crept in. It wasn’t a fully formed opinion, it was just a nagging feeling. But it was enough to make me abandon my virtual shopping cart.

A few months later, I was in my local Harley Davidson showroom. The first of the ’07’s were finally on the sales floor, in all their 96-cubic inch glory. My favorite sales rep, who was always so friendly even though he’d been trained to know I wasn’t in buying mode just yet, immediately pulled me over to the new Sportster 1200, flipped on the ignition, and announced, “You’re going to love this – look: a built-in clock, built into the speedo!”

I took a reactive, involuntary step away from the bike. Uttered some non-committal things simply as a way to extricate myself. And went to hide among the HD pet-wear so I could ponder in relative peace: why is everyone pushing timepieces for motorcycles? And why do I instinctively, almost primordally, resist??

The answer’s really kind of a no-brainer. Like that handlebar clock, it’s beautiful in its simplicity. I don’t want to know what time it is when I’m on the bike. Keeping time is synonymous with schedules. Pressure. Real life. And I use the bike to escape all of that.

One of the best moments in “Wild Hogs” occurs at the end when Peter Fonda, in his cameo role as the wise old biker dude, advises our heroes to ditch their wrist watches. So I’m confident I’m in very good company on this one. And I’m still searching for that next simple, sleek, attractive, and inexpensive chromey bit to put on my bike. Something that doesn’t remind me of the world I’m trying to leave behind.

Did you hear that? It was the sound of my brain snapping…

Remember my brave proclamation back in November? Well, I give up. I have officially crossed the line from understanding, tolerating, and barely holding on through winter… and am officially over-the-edge. A biker chick can only take so much, and I admit: I’m overcome by cabin fever. Crazy. SICK of winter! I know, I know… I said was gonna chat, and shop, and plot road trips, and all that other crap, to keep from going nuts. And it worked… for awhile. So what happened? Well it wasn’t a slow descent, I can tell you that. It was a distinct *SNAP.* What happened was the culmination of the events of the past week. Here’s the list: we got our latest edition of “Hog Tales” in the mail. Mother Nature dumped the second snow-and-ice storm on us in a two-week period. And “Wild Hogs” debuted and we braved the weather to go and see it on opening day. So I’ve been reading all about other people’s biking adventures, and how much their bikes mean to them, and all the great destinations that await… and I’ve been trudging through hard-packed/drifted snow with an inch-thick ice underlay just to get to my car… and I watched Travolta & crew travel cross-country, braving the locusts and the accidental fires and confrontations with the Del Fuegos (but they were on BIKES, so that hardly counts as strife!)… and now I’m officially in bad-weather-complaint mode. So just for the record, WINTER SUCKS!! I’m ready to ride.

Wild Hogs on the Loose

If you’ve ever been accused of being a RUB (“rich urban biker”), you’ll love the new Touchstone comedy “Wild Hogs.” The movie stars John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy as middle-aged friends who decide to kick their weekend riding up a notch and take a cross-country road trip on their Harleys. The trip is frought with comedic peril as the guys encounter swarms of locusts, gay cops, infrequent gas stops, and a burly gang of “real bikers” led by Ray Liotta. Their various motivations for taking the trip all collide in a final showdown with the biker gang, and in the end it takes Peter Fonda to set it all straight. The epilogue that rolls during the closing credits gives us a peek at how the guys are able to have the last word with the bad-ass bikers. A few of the gags in the movie seemed to occur without much setup, so at times it felt a little dis-jointed… but, I had a great time with the guys’ journey and their various mishaps. I’m not too familiar with Macy, but he gave a lot of depth to the nerdy computer programmer Dudley, who tried real hard to be a bad-ass by getting a “tat” and who needed a little more practice on his Sportster. Tim Allen was absolutely loveable as Doug the Dentist, tiring of his cholesterol-conscious diet and facing the notion of growing older. Martin Lawrence – for once out of a gender-altering “Big Mama”-style costume – was delightful if hen-pecked; and Travolta’s growing sense of panic as Liotta’s gang pursues them was hilarious. Early cameos by the Teutels and supporting appearances by Marisa Tomeii and Jill Hennessey were amusing and charming. We had a great time with this movie – sure it was a little predictable, but much of it was laugh-out-loud funny and there were moments that were purely unexpected that made it a blast. Enjoy!

Just a quick link

Women riders in the news at the San Diego CityBeat.

It’s @#$ COLD!!

Last night at dinner we were warding off the cold (36 of the past 37 days here have had daytime highs below 30 degrees, including 15 that were in the single digits) by recalling the two Caribbean cruises we’ve been on. Ah the top deck, staring out at the endless ocean as real-life worries were set afloat… the beaches of white sand and pristine aqua-colored water… the islands… what *were* the names of those islands?? We quickly realized that these trips were 8 and 10 years old, respectively, and wondered if there wasn’t something more recent we could draw upon for warm recollections. That put us onto the subject of last summer’s Sturgis trip, and we conjured up the hottest day of that journey with some reluctance. It was about 111 degrees as we cruised across a corner of Montana, returning to Belle Fourche after our visit to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. The trip to Devil’s Tower had not been all that pleasant – crowds and traffic were awful, tempers were short, and it was a day where I was feeling like we’d traveled far but seen nothing – except for a giant volcanic nipple poking up out of the Earth. This return stretch was, despite the heat, a blessing as it proved to be a little-traveled route. Very little. Vast open spaces stretched away from each side of the asphalt ribbon (was THIS where Woody Guthrie was walking and trying to think of a rhyme for “gulf-stream waters”? If so, it’s no wonder he came up empty!). You could look out onto a grassy range and imagine covered wagons actually lumbering their way west. And it was hot. The kind of hot where you soak your bandana and wear it under your helmet to keep your head cool… and sit in a little mom-and-pop convenience store seemingly in the middle of nowhere, drinking a sports drink even though you HATE sports drinks, because you’re pretty sure you left your electrolytes in a chemical toilet back at the Volcanic Nipple gift shop.

August 10, 2006 might not’ve been the best day to conjure up happy memories, but it was just what we needed to keep cabin fever at bay. We’re supposed to see temps in the 40’s by next week… I may just go soak my bandana!

Eat real on the road!

I’m still thinking about Alton Brown. I blogged recently about becoming interested in cooking (at age 44? After 15 years of marriage and family? What can I say, late bloomer!), and mentioned that Alton Brown is one of the program hosts over on Food Network, and that he rides a BMW. He strikes me as the type of person I’d have something to talk about over the super-unleaded nozzles at that tiny gas station outside Rose Creek, MN… bikes, old highways, vanishing Americana… and road food.

He’s got a couple of shows on Food Network… “Good Eats” is terrific, a sort “Beakman’s World” with food. (Brilliant “Jaws” parody aired this week where Alton’s Richard Dreyfus character was recruited by the besieged townfolk to kill a giant scallop that allegedly ate somebody’s toe, and he ended up cooking scallops for guests on the Robert Shaw character’s boat… cripes, hilarious!)

But I digress. It’s his limited-run series “Feasting on Asphalt”… where he travels across the US on his BMW with a few pals looking for authentic local food – and, I’m guessing, an authentic on-the-road experience – that I’m concerned with here. The series was shot and aired in 2006 and was recently re-run. His travels remind me of the street rod trips we took in the early 90’s where we’d purposely go in search of local diners. Back in those days, I was self-publishing a street-rodding newsletter called “Family Rodder” where I wrote a lot about the cool stuff that made two-lane travel so satisfying, and occasionally lamenting how our mode of exploring America had evolved.

On the bikes, we’ve discovered more than a few gems: a mom-and-pop place going into Belle Fourche, SD, next door to the paleo-themed motel where we stayed on last year’s Sturgis trip… the Old Home Fill ‘Er Up and Keep on Truckin’ Cafe, still operating in Pisgah, Iowa despite the absence of C.W. McCall and Mavis; a place in Beresford, SD that delivered awesome ham steak and ribeye meals to our motel room because we were too tired to stumble across the road…

My lament – and the point of “Feasting on Asphalt” – has been that most of us just don’t travel the way Americans used to… we built the Interstate system and it got the trucks off the 2-lanes, but it also encouraged everyone else to hurry, too… to blow past those towns… now you have to make an effort and take the “business route” if you want something local. And because of that, we’ve “progressed” ourselves right out of an opportunity to explore, to learn something.

Here’s some hard truth: Eating local is a lot harder than sliding to a stop at McDonald’s right off the interstate. But, I believe it’s absolutely imperative if you want the full road experience. It’s certainly the only way you’re going to experience culinary variety, or get a sense of what regional food is, when you travel. Eating local also supports local communities – economically as well as culturally. It assures that small towns get to keep some of what makes them unique, and that the profit they earn from your meal doesn’t go to some corporate home-office out of state. Finally, there’s the concept of “shared adventure” in discovering an unfamiliar local place… the best dinners with friends on the road are had when you step into a hole in the wall and have something to talk about because you took a chance, for better or for worse. Of course, you’ll occasionally get a clinker of a meal this way. But it shouldn’t always be about getting good food – it should sometimes be about getting authentic food.

When Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – / I took the one less traveled by / And that has made all the difference” – well, he could have been addressing the pre-ride meeting of the local HOG club. Or Alton Brown, perched on that BMW in his driveway, anticipating the journey ahead. “Feasting on Asphalt” is proof that Alton, at least, was listening. Are you?

Traffic report

Do you care about my website traffic? If not I’ll stop blathering about it. But really… 6,700 visits in January?? Come on, that’s worth mentioning! (That’s up from less than 1500 in January of 2006!)

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