Rules for talking to woman bikers
by Corn Dog on January 27, 2010
in Blowing a Gasket
Although the number of women who ride their own motorcycles is growing (aren’t we up to, like, 13 percent now? I think that makes us THIRTEEN PERCENTERS!), I’m still astounded at the reactions some people have when they learn I am a rider. Most of them are well-meaning, I’m sure. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t take a step back and reconsider their words. Here are a few “rules of the road” when it comes to communicating with women bikers:
DO NOT share your gruesome stories right off the bat of friends/relatives/mythical figures who have died in motorcycle accidents. It’s not helpful. And if you do, be prepared to hear about someone she knows who died a horrible death doing that thing you love.
DO ask her what make/model she rides. DO NOT ask her if that’s considered “a girl’s bike.”
It’s perfectly okay to ask her how long she’s been riding her own. But, DO NOT start a conversation with, “Do you ride that big ol’ bike all by yourself?” Because you’re bound to get this in return: “No, I have my big strong husband run along behind and push it for me.” Or maybe this: “Do you see a sidecar, Douchey?”
DO NOT chastise her for riding just because she has children. Anyone who has children could die stepping out the front door or driving their car, so don’t blather on about “greater responsibility.” DO congratulate her for showing her kids that life was meant to be lived doing things you love, and that it’s never too late to discover or learn something new.
Okay, women riders, it’s your turn – what are some of the reactions you’ve had to the fact that you ride your own motorcycle?
in my case I’d like to add DO NOT sit on my ride…just cos it’s got 3 wheels and won’t fall over does not mean the seat is open for just any butt to sit on!
Several times I’ve been parked at gas stations or restaurants and had people ask if I rode “that” bike all by myself … twice I’ve said, “No, someone starts it up for me and then I just walk beside it” :)
Don’t yell “THAT’S SO HOT!” at her from across a parking lot.
I loved this article, most of these rules are the stuff I hear, accept I ride a small bike, Honda Rebel, as I’m small 4’11, and most guys laugh and call it my girly bike,(and laugh at my husband when he rides it while his is in the shop) I just laugh and tell them its just to bad they can’t look this good! Women just exclaim you ride?(due to my height)Or I hear the motorcycle terrors, mostly I just say you should try it’s a blast or it’s so much fun.
Thanks for some great come backs, I’ll remember them and use them often.
Kat
Hey gals thanks for jumping in here – Wyz, HOLY CRAP – we used to go to a lot of car shows… my now-biker-bud (former car-show-bud) Shirley has an AWFUL story to tell about parents that let their kid sit on hot exhaust pipes – because they thought every car was their own playground! Unbelievable.
Love hearing everyone’s stories!!
I always get asked (1)have you been to Sturgis (2)Do you have a tattoo? (3)Do you wear a leather thong. Seriously…leather THONG? I don’t think so!
I also had one guy asked if my bike was the biggest thing I could get between my legs! I responded “You pull something bigger than this Harley out of your pants and then we’ll talk!” (Then I prayed for the light to turn green!)
While recently at the International Motorcycle Show, every time my friend and I stopped to talk to someone in a booth, they (mostly men) asked “Do you ride?” to which we said yes… and the question was always followed by “Do you have your own bike?” Yes. Look of surprise and confusion. Why is that so hard for people to fathom?? Especially at a motorcycle show…
I can’t even respond anymore anymore to shallow minded people.
I do remember one time at the car wash when this guy next to me said that I must have the luckiest husband in the world…and that I was doing such a good job of washing his truck. I think he was a bit surprised to hear that I didn’t have a husband…but I did have a nice truck!!!
Gals, I am really enjoying all your comments – keep ‘em coming! I wanted to share a few I’ve received via email:
“If I hear one more time . . . ‘It must be a mid-life crisis,’ I always comment, ‘No, that was what the boyfriend was for!’ Why (must) a woman doing something fun and exciting for herself, be a mid-life crisis?”
“I have no business riding my own and belong on the back of a bike!! And that was from another woman!”
“My answers after 32 years of riding are: Is that your bike? No, I stole it and a couple of minutes, to the question, how long have you been riding?”
I’ve ceased to be surprised by the sexist comments, and I haven’t even been riding that long.
I’ve gotten “Wow, that’s a big bike for an itty-bitty little girl like you!” (I ride a Honda Shadow 750… not THAT big.)
Also, a middle-aged guy at a gas station (I’m 21): “Hey, I’LL take a ride!”
Me thinking: “I’ll bet you would…”
And my little sis, who also rides, once got slapped on the butt at a gas station, followed by “Nice bike!” She was so surprised she didn’t know what to do, but if I would have been there, that man would have gotten what-for! I mean, what the heck are these guys thinking?!
But I do like it when normal people chat me up, or ask genuine questions about my bike. I love to see other women on the road!
“What would you do if you tipped it over?” My answer is “The same thing the big guys do, get a friend to help me pick it up. But if they aren’t around, I would just do it myself because I can and have.”
A couple friends of mine were once asked (as the motel attendant looked over their shoulders), “Where’s your mens?” We often get things like, “Are you girls all by yourselves?” (Once there were 4 of us on bikes & 2 more plus a baby in a truck on a trip and all I could think is, ‘No, we’re all together.’) We always describe these remarks as “Where’s your mens?”
ROFL “Where’s your mens” – that is FABULOUS!!
I love it when a man says “HEY! Take me for a ride!” To which I smile and say, “Real men don’t ride Bitch!” That shuts them up pretty fast. A few have said “Then let me be in the front!” .. my expression changes as does my whole demeanor when I say “YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR *#&@ MIND!” and I ride away.
Well, as a guy who rides and who finds it attractive when women ride, I have to apologize for those of my gender who are clueless, rude and otherwise obnoxious. I don’t get the sexism thing either…but I plead guilty to taking a second look when I see a lady riding.
Sorry, I just do. It’s hot. Sue me.
My own sister called me stupid when I got my motorcyle temps and my mother-in-law called me an idiot, but most people think it is totally cool that I have my own bike. To those who talk about how dangerous it is, I say “Hundreds of motorcyclists ride and return home safely every day. I intend to be one of them.” Finding out that I’m a lady who works at a church and owns a motorcycle really raises some eyebrows on folks! :) Riding is a great way to enjoy God’s creation!
My husband’s friends are giving him a hard time wanting to know when he is going to get a bike. I tell them having a motorcycle was on MY bucket list, not his.