Making smart choices: Harley vs. Scooter

A good friend of mine at work is considering buying a motorcycle. The problem is, he’s also considering buying a scooter. Now for the right person, a scooter’s a fine choice. And maybe it’s his international upbringing that makes him think he’d be just as nifty on a Honda Metropolitan as he’d be on a Harley, but I think it’s time for a little “Biker 101.” So, in an effort to help my dear friend acquire the right vehicle for his single, stable, good-looking, 43-year-old self, I’ve compiled this comparison which clearly shows the right choice. I’m sure he’ll thank me later.

Harley: American legend.
Scooter: Urban myth.

Harley: Attracts chicks.
Scooter: Attracts bugs.

Harley: Rugged, sexy, alpha.
Scooter: Cute, sweet, “just friends”

Harley: Makes the statement, “I was born to ride.”
Scooter: Makes the statement, “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go.”

Harley: Sturgis, Daytona, Conesville, bike night
Scooter: Quik-Trip

Harley: Active owner’s group meets mutliple times per month for meetings, rides, special events, and continuous customer appreciation
Scooter: Annual registration renewal at county administration building (sparsely attended)

Harley: Pack bike with tent, sleeping bag, duffle bag and folding chairs for impromptu camping getaway
Scooter: Pack “bike” with grocery bags containing elements of pathetic sedentary home life (limit 2)

Harley: Dude, it’s a Harley.
Scooter: Dude, it’s a scooter.